its the truth… yeah you!
hot glue art
Just glue it
Versace Veiled Dress, El Mirage, photographed by Herb Ritts 1990
its a summer afternoon, we are sitting there in silence, gazing at each others eyes. She looks at me sincerely, deeply, and with excitement she replies: " you are going to be something, like something great, I can feel it. You are going to do something with your life- you will be somebody."
I was a different man then… who was blind to a lot of things. Even you. Where the hell have you been? I have a box full of your stuff- stored away at my friends house… somewhere. Black leather bound memories. Goals and dreams, never to be fulfilled nor reached. You probably got rid of it sometime ago. Why would you keep it? Just let me know, so I know how to fix this.
I am afraid to say… actually no. I am not afraid, not afraid at all. I want to say, I am going to say, that you do not know me anymore. I am not that boy, the one who kneel at your feet, and you kicked when I was at your complete mercy. But I guess it goes both ways. I did not stand up to you. I waited, waited for you. like a fucking dog starving for its owner, just to return.
The only thing that is vanilla, is the lotion that you spread on your aging skin. remember my touch… how it use to drive you crazy and made you breath heavy… I got flavor, I got texture, and since then I have acquired resistance to pain. I do not flinch, nor stutter- just read these words. Door is open if you need me to resonate this into your ears. Just cold. remember baby… how I use to taste in your mouth, the dirty little things that you thought would never come out…
Is not to say that you do not cross my mind day to day, is that the strength of your frequency is no longer the same. Where the fuck have you been? You moved mountains just to get to me, why are you stopping in the middle of your trench?
Is not that I hate you I am just simply confused, about some shit that you and I used to do. I will not apologize about this, I will not say “sorry” for the way that I feel. But I do feel bad, that you think I will remain the same. How wrong… wrong you are. I am still human and I am allowed to exerciser my emotions. Do not worry, Do not confuse, This does not necessarily pertain to you.
I am a man with direction, I am man with assertion, if that frightens you, my question is, how many “men” have you actually met? Close your eyes, take in my scent; volatile mixtures of cologne, smoke, and sex. You are a poison to me. You always have, but at one point- you were my sugar and honey. Here it comes, now look over to me:
remember… clasping our hands together, while we thrust without blinking our eyes…. remember how you came… gasping for air and a body with a loss of control…
What good can you do? What benefit does my presence do for you? We are attached and I do not think you realize that- but I still have yet to find something sharp enough to cut the hair line strings connecting our hearts.
Watch me succeed from a distance, hear about me, think about me… if you want. I do not need your claps, or your beautiful thoughts. I am fine on my own, thank you very much. You are hoping that the other woman will walk into my life, and love me the way I deserve to be loved. But I have found that person and that person is me. I love me and everything about me, down to my own imperfections, deep down in my skin.
Who the fuck do you think you are, with you leather bags filled heavy with defeat? Answer me now… on second thought, I rather have coffee on my own. After all, my warmth is something that you can no longer afford.
I have to… I just have to. Learning to create my own closures. Where do we stand? Who are we now? Is this the way that this fairy tale was supposed to end? I still hope that you are okay and away from harms way, but sometimes… sometimes, I wish I did not look over your way.I saw you go through pain- year in and year out, with little complaint. Do you even have a heart beat now? I can still feel you, even when it rains on a sunny day. I know your watching, from where you and I stood and memories were made.
I am a piece of diamond studded gold, walking around, breaking hearts because I will not commit… I can’t commit. But keep wearing your cheap forever 21, gold plated jewelry-how are they working out? Misery loves company.. but I thought your name was… well your name is…
I no longer have dreams, I no longer have nightmares. But sometimes… I stop and wonder… do you know what about? That is right, exactly that.